Masks of Our Own
by Shannara Harper
Summary: Sequel to Shattered Mask. Duo is have a crisis and blames the other pilots. But are they really as oblivious as they seemed? NEW CHAPTER! R&R craved. Flames will be excepted
1. Trowa's Masks

Shan: I had a demand for a sequel and like the good little review hog I am I have oblidged. How could I not respond to two people who stuck me up on their favorites list!  
  
Kye: And thanks a lot! As if her ego wasn't bloated as it is!!  
  
Shan: Don't pick on me. At any rate I was thinking of making each chapter a different pilot. Also, here's a poll, which pilot do you think should finally help poor Duo out? Anyway, please, read and review.  
  
Kye: And if there are spelling mistakes, tell us. We'd really like to know.  
  
Shan: Enjoy!  
****  
  
Masks of Our Own  
  
I remember my past. It is your future. But I feel nothing for you I lie in the dark and wonder....  
  
Oh how, how can my heart see?  
  
Through my own sundering pain.  
  
He's been out there all day. I walk past the window every so often just to make sure he doesn't do something foolish -- like throw himself off a cliff. But then, if the moron does it really isn't my business, is it? I'm not sure the others have noticed but I've seen the little cracks in his smile, hairline, really, and quickly covered but still there. I glance again at the window through my bangs. He looks like he's about the break.  
  
Oh where, where has my heart gone?  
  
An uneven trade for the real world.  
  
I had that expression once before I'd lost all expression..... And hid behind my own masks. I can picture them perfectly; a half face -- one smiling and one crying. They became my emotions for me after I learned that emotions were needed for others to be able to co-exist with you. It's why I became a clown, clowns did not have emotions other than those they showed to the crowds. If I was a clown I could pretend that what they saw existed in my barren heart. But somehow I cannot see Duo wearing a mask so obviously.  
  
Oh why, why does my heart bleed? From cuts made of my selfish needs?  
  
Maybe he needs an outlet. A way to get the emotions out without masking them. Killing only works for Heero... maybe something different? I stare at my hands without really seeing them and remember the cuts, made so precisely up and down my arms, like stitches..... I pull out of it before I lose myself in my outlet and turn my back on the window, shuddering internaly and block out everything.  
  
It's really not my busniess after all.  
  
....I still remember.... 


	2. Quatre's Faces

Shan: I'm baaack! Did you miss me? I knew you all did. Now then, the song isn't one of my own this time but it's a good one. "Ellenor Rigbey" by The Beatles.  
  
Kye: She's becoming cliche.  
  
Shan: You picked the song, worm.  
  
Gammi: When are you going to let me help with a story?  
  
Shan: Uh, well. When I get one of those happy vibes?  
  
Kye: In otherwords, never. (grins and shoves Gammi into an urn) On with the story!  
  
*****  
  
Masks of Their Own  
  
"....Ellenor Rigbey, picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been, lives in a dream."  
  
Have you ever listened to those old songs, the ones with feelings? I have. It's so interesting when you can match up the lyrics to your life. I think I might just be poor Ellenor Rigbey, picking up the shattered peices of my life, only to have them cut me because my life was nothing more than a dream. Pacifism is a dream.  
  
" Waits by the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door, who is it for?"  
  
Quatre R. Winner. Heir to a fortune. Business man. Pleasent all around guy. Nice. Innocent. That's my mask. My 'face'. I slip it on whenever I leave the house, my room even. Can't have morality drop because happy little Quatre isn't smiling. Happy little Quatre my ass. I want to hurt something. Slice it, slowly. Watch it bleed. I know it's wrong. I know. I don't care.  
  
"All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do the all belong?"  
  
Alright, yes. I know I'm not the only one hurting. I've seen Duo, watched him, curious. His smile is gone now. He left it on the cliff... maybe he threw it over in place of himself.  
  
He's probably regreting that. I'd regret it.But I can't help him, that's Heero's job. Heero is the Superman in this song, not me. He's the one that Duo needs. I don't care. I don't.  
  
"Father Makenize, writing the words to a sermon that no one will hear, no one comes near. "Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there, what does he care?"  
  
I've preached peace. I've tried that 'fix the world' thing. It's not working. Nobody cares. I'm numb now, to everything. Why should I care, if nobody else does? I'll keep fighting of course. Need to cut them, watch them bleed. Need to hurt, to hate.....  
  
...To feel.  
  
"All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do the all belong?"  
  
Duo will just have to help himself.  
  
..... I'll try not to enjoy watching him bleed.  
  
Ah. My tea is ready.  
  
"Ah, look at all the lonely people....." 


	3. Wufei's Executioner Mask

Shan: I'm Back! I did Wufei! Beat you're all real happy, huh? The lyrics here are from RotK, 'Steward of Gondor' featuring Billy Boyd. Now I admit, these weren't the original lyrics I was going to use but.... well, it just happened.  
  
Kye: Actually she was listening to the soundtrack from Once More with Feeling....over and over and over. God, I wish it would stop! I keep hearing it! (rocks back and forth)  
  
Shan: What? They're good! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter, it's short. Oh! Y'all have to tell me what you think of my Wufei-voice? Does he sound realistic? He's not flat or anything?  
  
~*~  
  
Wufei's Executioner Mask  
  
Home is behind The world ahead And there are many paths to tread...  
  
I would follow my Nataku to the grave but instead I send others to her. It's justice I suppose but not the justice I want. My hands are dripping blood that cannot be washed away and all I want is to lay down next to my love and sleep with her forever.  
  
Through shadow To the edge of night....  
  
Instead I burn in a freezing black fire of anger and pride. She was my warmth and without her my fire burns cold, my heart is ice and all I can seek is justice and death. So I will don my black mask and judge those worthy to die. Through the shadow of the world I will slip, in the night I will judge your soul.  
  
Until the stars are all right.  
  
I used to be able to hold these feelings inside, locked and soothed away into the darkness but Maxwell has.... stopped. Just stopped and with him tumble the rest of us, like a child's blocks. I watch as his eyes burn colder than I, as his heart builds a wall that only death will conquor and I find myself caring, hoping to see the star of Maxwell's heart heal.  
  
Mist and Shadow Cloud and shade All shall fade All shall...  
  
But those feelings are fleeting, like mist, so visiable but when I reach out to catch them they slip away into the shadow again. I'm left with only the need for justice once more and I can feel reality fade away into nothing. It's best I stick to Nataku, worship her and hope she allows me to join her soon.  
  
......fade..... 


End file.
